A month or so ago, I wrote about the eleventh hour. The elusive hour that we hope will bring the relief we need in order to keep pressing forward. Well here I am, in my own eleventh hour. I have watched the chaos reign for far too long........looking at all the pieces of my life and wondering "Where am I going??" "What am I doing here??" "How do I manuever through this??" "Why are the answers taking so long to show themselves??"
I believe we will always have those random pieces of our lives that we are trying to make sense out of or trying to work our way around or into. But this summer for me consisted of every piece being flung across the floor like a glass vase shattering into tiny jagged pieces. I felt like I was in a mess that I didnt even know where to begin in putting it back together again. Funny thing is, I was the one who pushed the vase off the table.....I wanted to start new again. Careful what you wish for....
I got new alright. I got new in tiny little pieces strewn across the floor. I spent this summer picking up the pieces- salvaging some but throwing away a lot more.....a few cuts along the way. But the eleventh hour is showing itself.....finally. I wondered if time stopped in my world. But it appears to have been moving at the speed needed to get all the pieces in order......an order I knew nothing about as I thought I was just tossing them all in a pile. Its seems this "random" pile is my new life. And now that I look at it......it has a beauty that I couldnt have imagined when I watched myself knocking that vase over. In each piece, a story unfolded for me. In each piece, I learned more about myself in trusting my power of creation. At first I thought I was just putting all the little pieces in a random pile, but I realize now that in each piece, whether I knew it then consciously or not, I had an intention.....and that intention is to live my dream. Guess what? When the clock strikes twelve, I will be there.
It was all worth the wait.
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