Okay, so now I am THAT Mom! But come on! Look at this little guy! I can't help but show him off as he grows right before my eyes every day. It's like nothing else...to watch a little being explore his world....his body...his smile...his voice....his hands. Who is he becoming? Does he know who he is already? Or is he totally starting from scratch? What was he smiling about in his dreams when he didnt know how to smile in his waking life? What is he trying to say when talks his baby talk? What is going on in that little head of his??
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I have been asked: "So is it hard being a parent?" and I say NO! Being a parent is the most amazing job in the whole world! It's the health insurance, money, the world "going to hell in a hand basket" that is stressful. Of course there are challenges...mostly in the real realization that your child's unconscious mind is soaking up everything...that is where the REAL responsibility lies. As a parent I am realizing that I have to walk the walk...not just talk the talk.
I will say that every day he grows and learns is bittersweet. I want my baby to stay little....my little baby. My baby who I protect and keep close. My baby who has the littlest feet and who smells so familiar to me. My baby. And yet I get excited every day when he takes what seems to be the smallest steps...but are quantum leaps in his world. I almost can't wait for him to reach his next milestone. I can't wait for more smiles, more gibberish, more MORE MORE!
I have had to remind myself many times over...to slow down and enjoy each day..each moment. I am consciously taking it all in. And while I spend my days showing him and guiding him through his world...he is so effortlessly guiding me to a more present state...and showing me that I can smile even when my "stresses" are totally overwhelming.
A long time ago, my astrologer said I would have children someday. I told her that that was great and all...but what about this world and all its over population and problems? She replied "It's people like you who have awareness of the world, who believe in its light...it's all of you who need to be bringing children into this world because you will teach them how to take care of this world." I look at Jonah, and I see the future of our world in him....and its so beautiful.
